Our life while battling childhood cancer - join us as we laugh, cry, and learn

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Watching Waiting Wondering

Nicholas is in the middle of the toughest part of treatment. He's had all the chemo for the first half of Delayed Intensification.  Since he's not feeling so great and his risk of infection is as high as it's been thus far (and will only get worse over the next week or so), we aren't going out of the house much at all.  The weather has generally been awful - cold, windy, sometimes rainy with some hail thrown in for good measure. So I feel stuck in the house.  I feel trapped as I wait, watch and wonder.

Waiting for the cough to subside
Wondering what's causing it

Watching for signs that the cough is turning into something worse
Wondering if it'll end up as fever, clinic visit, hospitalization, etc.

Waiting for the blood draw Thursday

Watching for signs of anemia or low platelets
Wondering if any "blood products" will be needed during the next week or so

Waiting to see when the hair will fall out
Wondering how much will go

Waiting for the steroid pulse to end
Wondering how Nicholas will be over Easter weekend
Wondering if he'll be spared painful withdrawal symptoms again

Wondering how I'll make it through Katherine's spring break
Wondering how she will make it through her spring break

Wondering if Day 29 will occur as scheduled or if it will be delayed
Wondering how the next round of meds will affect his appetite

The list goes on.  I am bored, exhausted, and anxious.  I try to find other things to do, other things to think about, but I'm not successful.

1 comment:

Nicola Theron said...

Oh T I was there was some way to help out. I really hope you are able to have some joy over Easter.